The End.

 Today is the final day.

We have slogged through airport after train station after hotel. We have admired cathedral after castle after colosseum. We have cheered, cried, and bit our nails at rugby games.

What’s the takeaway, you might ask?

The takeaway, dear reader, is - there isn’t one.

No single, all-encompassing phrase could describe the sheer volume of experiences on this trip. The good, the bad, the supposedly neutral, all valuable in the mosaic of what we’ll look back on. Our eyes may be drawn to the deep, unreflecting and unrepentant bad days; they may equally be drawn to the shining crown-jewel good days. There is no one tree in this forest that is more important or special or teachable than the others, they do not represent the forest as a whole and they never will. You cannot comprehend the beauty of an art piece from a single phrase, nor can you the horror of a thriller novel.

Maybe in one hundred years, some enterprising english teacher will stumble upon this post and find a hidden meaning. Maybe, even further in the future, the internet will have fallen and this will have died twice already.

It doesn’t matter, because right now I desperately need to be doing something that’s not autobiographical.

Day 23

 Hello! It’s been a while.

I’m going to keep it relatively quick, because I barely remember - I mean I have stuff to do.

Anyways, two days ago started off quietly and seemed to stay that way. We woke up, got on a train for several hours then got supper in our destination, Munich. German restaurants and Germany in general are a far cry from the sheer disorganization in Italy. I felt a lot more comfortable there than in Rome, but it still doesn’t beat Exeter.

The food was pretty good, but seemed really centered around cold meats, which I didn’t like. The server was entertaining, but not annoying, which I did like!

The next day, we woke up super early (I’m not kidding this time - 6am!) to go on a castle tour. We actually missed the first bus because so many people were on it and they couldn’t fit us, but they had another one lined up right behind it. The castles were quite impressive - though the first, smaller one was my favourite. It was rather quaint, as castles built for Ludwig II go, using mirrors to make it seem like there was more gold than there was instead of just adding more. The second one was double the amount of opulence, spread across five floors instead of two. The chandeliers were quite impressive!

That’s most of what I remember. Time to go be productive, maybe.

Day 20 - 9

 20. Twenty whole frickin days.

Is it weird that I’m kinda looking forward to going home? I mean, I’m excited for the final and all, but the rest is starting to slur like a practice piece for an amateur flutist.

Anyways, today was a super lazy day. Most of what happened was museum, and there was lots of museum. There were boats! And more boats! And a door! I’m not sure that last one was intentionally on display, but oh well. I didn’t quite feel alive at that point, so I sort of wandered and ghosted through the museum like a soul out of time staring at remnants of what used to be reality. I had some spaghetti there.

After that, it was mostly chill chill chill. I beat my high score in a racing game - 9688, just short of the 10000 score I’d need to move my ranking from B+ to A (my previous record was 9626.) I think I might have finally cracked the trick to getting the higher rankings, but that remains to be seen.

At about six, we went to the final dinner (which I’ve been calling the Last Supper in my head for funsies) with the rest of our tour group for the very last time.

I don’t think I’ll miss it.

Day 19 - 8

 I am finally free of our tour guide!

That’s a bit mean. My point is, he got kind of annoying after a certain point (if I never hear anyone call me a baby repeatedly again it will be too soon) and also I just didn’t like him. Blame it on the energy drink.

Anyways, today was very boat. I got on a boat far too early (9am) (this is sarcasm) and went basically nowhere. It was a nice boat though. Not a gondola.

We then went to the Doge’s Palace (no association with the Department of Government Efficiency) where there were incredibly few frescoes for a place as fresco-heavy as Italy. This is apparently because the humidity in Venice degraded the paint or something? I barely remember. The days are blurring together.

We then maybe had free time? Our tour guide, for what is not the first time, didn’t communicate something to us and then got upset when we didn’t know (the thing being that we didn’t actually have free time) (this is another reason I’m annoyed by him).

Anyways, after that mess we got on a boat again, where I drank the aforementioned energy drink, and we got to the island of Murano! Or Burano. One was glassblowing and one was food. We went to the glassblowing one first.

We saw some glass get blown, which was surprisingly satisfying. We got some glass stuff, and then we were marshalled off to the other one, where I ate my steak and then mom’s steak and then pasta with meat sauce and also bread, only possibly in that order. Mom bought a glass dragon and we just kinda wandered for a bit. After that we went back, on the boat again, and hit the hotel. I procrastinated writing this (because I was having fun) and now here we are.

Day 18 - 7

 I hate low boats. Gondolas? Terrifying.

We started the day relatively quietly. Get up, forget to do everything, get on the high speed train, get aggressively reminded to do everything, get frustrated, do things, get off the train, get on a (non-low, thank the gods) boat, go for a ride for a bit, discover electrolytes are magic. The works.

We then went on a gondola ride. Why. I never want to do that again.

The first issue was the price math. We figured out that our tour company seemed to be wildly overcharging us on it, after having warned us that gondoliers are apparently quite rude. The next was the gondoliers themselves - every single one was smoking while driving. Terrible smell. Then, once we got on, I faced my final enemy - the rocking of the boat.

I hated it. The boat would tip wildly from side to side, constantly making me feel like we were going to tip over and fall into the water. I spent most of the ride holding onto mom for dear life.

Next, we had some dinner, where I combatted my chronic iron deficiency with a good steak. We then went on a water taxi, which was similarly low but had a covered section which made me feel less like we were going to fall off. All in all, good 7/10.

I only have to put up with our tour guide for one more day. If I never hear someone call me a baby repeatedly again, it will be too soon,

Day 17 - 6

 We got on a bus stupid early this morning.

I was asleep for basically the entire bus ride, but I woke up some more with rapid application of gelato. The town we went to was a little medieval one called Gimignano (which mom could neither pronounce nor spell) which had a frankly concerning amount of torture museums. It also had a very picturesque citadel with arrow slits and a lot of bugs.

After having gelato pt 2 and falling asleep on the bus ride home, mom wandered off to her Tuscan dinner thing that she reserved with our tour agency while me and dad vegged out for a while and looked at the England v France match results (England won, to the surprise of absolutely no one.) Afterwards, we went to a Leonardo da Vinci museum - of which there are two remarkably similar ones that were right across the street from each other and were definitely not in Vinci, as they should have been. There was an entire music section, where I played easily the most awesome drum solo I have ever played. I have never played a drum solo before.

Day 16 - 5

 Late post today cause I stayed up watching the Canada - New Zealand game.

It was amazing! Sophie de Goede really showed her skill. She scored and then converted her own try (pretty impressive) and was just generally a force on the field. At one point she (a forward) broke the defensive line and had a near-open shot through to the try line and effectively went ‘nah, that’s too much field’ because as fast as she is, she is not a back. So she lobs it off to the girl supporting her. It was a little hilarious to watch; it was 75 minutes in and they were winning by some 15 points, New Zealand couldn’t score a hat trick in that time, especially not with the fight Canada continued to put up until the game was over, beyond the last second. 

Anyways, we also went to Pisa. We did the classic hold-up-the-leaning-tower poses and got gelato. We partied in Florence too. It was sweltering - and the place where we had lunch was trying very hard to have air conditioning. The food was good, though.

Day 15 - Guest Post

 So - Day # 15, and Gwen neither lost her parents nor was forced to drink coffee at breakfast. 

 Clearly a good day. 

 

I gave Gwen the "travel day" excuse to get out of writing a post today, but actually, the train trip from Rome to Florence was a pretty minor part of our day, today. Kind of a funny thing: the more effort you put into your transportation system - so it's fast and efficient - the less impact it has in your day!

As a result, we took a train from Rome to Florence, AND saw the Florence Town Hall, including all the Medicis' insane art collection AND went to the Florentine Art School to see the original David sculpture AND ate supper in Machiavelli's estate - where he wrote all those famous bons mots ("the end justifies the means", "never assume conspiracy when incompetence will sufficiently explain the situation", and many others...) -- all in the same day, thanks to the high-speed rail connection from Rome to Florence. 3-4 hours in a car. 1.5 hours on the train. 

Avoiding a thousand-word diatribe on rail in Canada, I'll just say that the Italian train worked well, and we arrived in Florence shortly after lunch. We then were guided through the Florence Town Hall (the Palazzo Vecchio, which was also the Medicis' main base of operations). It was interesting to see how it had been a Renaissance feudal domain, leading to all this ridiculous accumulation of wealth, and generation of art - and yet the existing municipal government uses it every Wednesday. It feels somehow overly pedestrian, but also a reminder that all those old folks who helped generate amazing feats of artistic skill were real humans who also probably held Council meetings every Wednesday. 

Next was the Florentine Art School, who own and display Michelangelo's David. Cool, but all of us felt like the other stuff was better - Kes & I enjoyed the series of unfinished works displayed en route to David - stuff Michaelangelo had left unfinished when he died, showing how he worked. Gwen really found the painted art around the walls more interesting. David was fascinating, but the crowds were a bit tough to take. 

Lastly, we dined at the house where Machiavelli wrote "The Prince". Not much history, really, but a beautiful Tuscan estate where we ate a sunset meal overlooking vineyards, laughing with our fellow travellers. Honestly, a pretty great end to the day.

  

Day 14 - 3

 Today started relatively peacefully.

We had a (thankfully mostly coffeeless) breakfast, and were quickly on our way to Tivoli. The ride was long, and I got a bit motion sick, but it was all okay in the end. We saw the utterly massive gardens of Villa Deste there! That villa has so so many fountains, it blows my mind every time. There were animal fountains, weird fountains, mildly lewd fountains, drinking fountains, normal fountains- just kidding. None of the fountains were normal.

Then, we had some break time before going to the Vatican. The Sistine Chapel was so loud and crowded - its overhype is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Last words before I pack - having parents is like having children - you look away for half a second and they’re just gone.

Day 13 - 2

 Thanks for talking to me, Cote! The Roman pantheon was an inductive pantheon, meaning the Romans tried to subsume the gods of any religion they came across into their gods. Minerva ate Athena, Sulis, and likely many others, probably as a way to draw connections between the Roman religion and any religion they came across by saying “We’re actually worshipping the same god!”

Anyways, this hotel lied to me.

I wake up, brush my hair and teeth, get dressed, and zombie out of my room. The first thing that I eat at the buffet downstairs, bacon, tastes wrong. And it just keeps happening. The croissant is toxically sweet. The carrots are boiled (that was fine though). And then, in my hour of such sorrow, mom gets me some hot chocolate. I drink it, suspecting nothing.

It’s coffee.

I drank coffee for breakfast.

Irrelevant of what it was, it was bitter and disgusting, so I ran off to drink some water.

It’s sparkling water.

And then, at the end of the meal, I try to wash my hands, but there’s nothing but body wash for hand soap!

Nothing in this hotel is honest.

Anyways, we went on tour next. We saw the Circus Maximus, heard about Italy’s church v state issues, and saw at least three things named after Mazzini. I learned that SPQR stands for Senatus PopulusQue Romanus! There were beautiful madonnas on nearly every street corner too. There were sometimes pieces of ruins in buildings!

We went to the Vatican City as well. I got gelato, and that was about it.

For supper, we went to a fun place where every ~5 minutes, some performers came out and sang opera. It was a little weird, but also funny.

Good night, and see you tomorrow!

Day 12 - 1

 Hey guys! It’s Rome time.

We arrived in Rome yesterday, and I was down with a cold. Nobody took an axe to the AC (a surprise, considering this family) but also nobody really slept. My sleep schedule was already terrible, so I wasn’t too fussed and I already know how to deal with days like that (because that is everyday in Gwenland) but my mom was a little grumpy some times during the day.

Our check-in for the tour hotel was at twelve, so we were free range on the town until then. We got some breakfast at a nice gelateria down the street from the hotel (pain au chocolat for me and mom, coffee for dad) and then went to see some piazzas. We found a nice one with a fountain and some good shade, and got gelato next to it. At twelve, we moved on to check-in, then got some pizza (mine was good, dunno about the others’) and wandered back.

Next up, we went to the reception for the tour. Our guide, Gianluca, explained the rules and safety precautions and the sent us on a quick tour. We then had supper with far too many courses. At the fourth one, I took a quick bathroom break.

Let me set the scene for you. I have just walked into a slightly-dingy bathroom with three stalls on the left and sinks with mirrors on the right. The middle stall is closed and presumably locked. I enter the one closest to the door of the three, closing the door behind me without thinking. The first thing I notice - the window is ajar. I stick my hand through - there’s no screen. It’s just open to the night.

As I turn to lock the door, I notice something. Unlike the outside of the door, the inside has no doorknob.

Slightly panicked now that I’m trapped in a bathroom with a three-storey window as my only exit, I sit down and do my business. When I reach for the toilet paper, I see something shiny on the floor.

It’s the doorknob.

It’s so far back I sort of wonder if it had been thrown. Did the previous occupant tear it off before resorting to the window?

I reach up and shove the knob onto the spot for it. It fits, and when I turn it, the door opens just fine.

Weird.

Day 11 - Guest post

 Hi there! 

Jumping in here with a guest post to fill in the blank of a travel day and a sick kid.

 Yep, both Gwen and I have managed to come down with some kind of minor cold. I'm mostly over it - at most, a few sniffles - but Gwen's kind of peaking today, so she's off blogging duty in hopes she'll take the opportunity to get a bit more sleep (dubious at the best of times, but also, see my comment our lovely Italian air conditioner at the end...). 

Today was our last in Bristol and first in Rome. We checked out at noon, and planned to watch the first of the two Women's World Cup games at the Bristol "Fan Zone" - a large area in the middle of the city with a big screen showing the games, with games to play, food trucks and other things. Unfortunately, the weather didn't co-operate (our experience with weather in Bristol didn't exactly disprove any British meteorological stereotypes...) so we decided to skip the Fan Zone.

Since the airport bus runs eight times an hour, we didn't have to worry about an abrupt change to plans - we just decided to head to the airport immediately. We thought we could watch the game on an airport TV somewhere.

Our Bristol Airport experience was certainly... educational.  I don't mean to be snide - it's not that it was negative - only that it's an airport set up on a model that I'm really not familiar with. It handles 10.5 million passengers a year, putting it between Edmonton and Calgary in a Canadian context - so it's big. However, almost all of those passengers are: a) using discount airlines such as RyanAir or EasyJet b) British and local to Bristol - the airport doesn't have much inbound tourist traffic, and c) vacationing (not travelling for business or connecting through the airport). 

That combination of factors meant a few things: There were signs warning about the penalties for "Drunken Behaviour" all over the place - people getting drunk in the airport before a flight to a Greek or Spanish beach is clearly a problem. There were also a grand total of ZERO televisions in the entire airport. (Not counting the TVs used as monitors to display flight information). I think that's because, in 2025, when all of your passengers are local, you can simply assume that people who want to watch something will be able to stream it on their devices.  Finally, it's CROWDED. There were people everywhere in a way I've never seen in a Canadian airport. Clearly, by cramming everyone in, costs are kept down, so prices are kept down, and that's at the end of the day what many people want. I can't say it was pleasant, though!

The flight was uneventful, and we took a direct train into the city (Rome - it's Sunday, so we're in Rome, right?). We're joining our group tour tomorrow, so we were on our own for finding a spot to stay tonight. Kes found a perfect place - cheap, clean and near the train station. However, it certainly fulfills a certain stereotype. It occupies the 2nd floor (only the 2nd floor) of a 4-story apartment building. The room is very small. Though, as I said, everything is clean, it doesn't look like anything in the room is younger than about 1985 - but possibly 1965. The beds are solidly hard - probably more comfortable than what we sleep on while camping, but maybe not. The air conditioner - a plastic monstrosity on the floor near the window - cycles through two modes: noisy-but-effective and quiet-enough-to-let-you-sleep. Of course, when it's done the latter long enough that you're sleepy, though overheated, it reverts to the former. In the morning, we'll see how well we've slept, and whether any of us have taken an axe to it over the course of the night.

 In general, our trip is going really well, and we're really looking forward to this next phase - Italy, let's go! 

Day 10

 Today was… Rugby. That's about it.

Before that, we went on a boat tour. As my dad put it, ‘new angles, no new information.’ We then went to the fanzone to watch the South Africa v New Zealand game virtually. After that, we went on a ferry to see the Canada v Australia match live. Canada won!

Day 9???

 My brain is mush because I made a bad decision to write this at 2230 instead of 1800 and now I must deal with the consequences.

We went to Bath today. The titular bath was kind of interesting - they worshipped Minerva of all gods there - but not all of it was about the things I was interested in. Everything in England was built by Brunel, and Jane Austen was everywhere. We went back to Bristol to watch Starter For Ten which emotionally broke me. That show was good. I cannot bring myself to make sense of existence. My favourite character was probably Lucy, or maybe Rebecca. Rebecca’s arc felt aborted, though.

Day 8

 How is it only day 8? I’m losing my tiny mind over here.

Today, we went to see Stonehenge. I had fun; I didn’t enjoy the crowds. Avebury was much better, and I bought a pendulum there. Why? Because I could.

We went to see a few other hamlets, which were pretty boring so I spent most of my time writing a Stonehenge-inspired story. I’ll post it tomorrow if I hear any want for it.

Also, please comment if you have thoughts or even if you don’t. I feel like I’m just talking to myself.

Day 7

 One week of Europing! Yay!

We walked everywhere in Bristol today, and I do mean everywhere because today was our opportunity to do everything in Bristol. We went to the city hall, to Cabot Tower, to the art museum, and finally to the SS Great Britain. My legs hurt just thinking about it.

I’m nearly asleep right now, so I can barely remember what we did everywhere, but I am just. So tired. Goodnight.

Day 6

 Today was a travel day.

We went to the museum at Exeter first, though; it had an interesting mosaic section. Then, we went to the train station and took about an hour to get to Bristol. We rested up in yet another Premier Inn, then had supper at a local Greek food place and went to a Walking Theater show.

The show was interesting - it was about Bristol Pirates, and engendered some interesting discussions about the facts and fiction of piracy. I had two bags of chips, one pint of water, and a great time.

Day 5

 We attack at dawn! Well, not dawn. More like 10. Also, it’s not like we’re actually attacking Bristol…

Today was relatively good. I had fun, but the medieval tour covered some of the same places as the Exeter old and new one, so that wasn’t too nice. We went into the Exeter Cathedral, which was pretty-pretty and very… insert adjective here. After that, I had ice cream and we went off to supper some hours later. It was pretty good.

Day 4

 I had a pretty good day today!

We started by going on a walking tour, which I found interesting. There are many random sections of wall round Exeter, some of which you’re allowed to walk on. I also learned about the descendants of a tried ‘witch’ in Exeter, who are currently trying to get their ancestor a pardon. It stands on really interesting legal ground - if the court decides to pardon the ancestor, the descendants can sue for damages, which is stupid because this happened years upon years upon years ago; but if they dismiss the suit on literally any grounds, they may be accused of implying that the ancestor actually was a witch. However it goes, it’ll be absolutely wild to watch, especially because it’s not one of those open-and-shut cases where if you do it right, you can be in and out in thirty minutes but one where every possible answer opens another can of worms - the only real way to win for the courts is not to play (keeping the case out of court.)

I also went into the Exeter tunnels. Mom got a bit claustrophobic and left early, but me and my dad learned a lot.

All in all, I had fun.

Day 3

 I am so beyond tired again, but I have to do this.

I had a great time at the games today. Canada won the first game, and the second was a chaotic mess that ended in a Fijian victory, somehow. I got a pointy foam finger and a pinwheel, and wore the Canadian flag like a cape most of the day.

We had supper at the Ship Inn, which was pretty good. They put on the England-Australia game, and then a documentary about stoats. I don’t know why they thought that rugby fans would like stoats, but by god they were right

.  

Day 2

 Hey all! ‘Tis I, Gwen, aka the kid from the title.

Today was our second day of travel and I am so beat. I didn’t really have the downtime yesterday to post, so the TLDR is that there was six hours of plane, a half hour of bus, and then ten hours of sleep.

Today, we took the train from London to Exeter. It was some three hours, and not much happened. We checked into the hotel and then wandered out to the RWWC Fanzone, which was incredibly underwhelming. Me and Mom played chess at a really big chess set until Mom forfeited and Dad pointed out that I had been in check for dozens of moves and no one had noticed. I’m a disgrace to my chess club!

Then, we went to a pub for supper, which is where I am now.